Feedback from first cut

• The shots are too shaky
• There is not enough range of shot distances
• The lip syncing is out of sync with the music
• The intro is too long.

Overall, the first rough edit showed poor footage.
(the black gaps in the cut below indicate bits where inserted footage should be)
Most of the feedback I am not surprised with. I am aware that the rough cut of editing I showed my teacher did not include the best sequences, this is because even though I refilmed the bridge parts when the weather was brighter and when the ability of zoom shots were much better in the end I felt some of the old footage may have fitted in better. I even decided not to use the zoom shot I filmed and this jeopardized my range of shots. I do still feel I have considerably better control over the stability of the frame because even whilst tightening the parts tripod, it is easy for the camera to move and I have been having problems with this lately but this particular problem is easy to improve on...
I have noticed myself that in general the artist is not connecting with the
audience enough.
The style my music video is in is a narrative style, but now I'm a bit worried that instead of taking a literal interpretation of the lyrics, it should have been a bit more abstract maybe? I'm not sure...but I have much more to film, and I know I will include
various filming techniques in between the rest of the scenes so I probably shouldn't worry too much about getting a boring visual display, cause as my teacher said, objects and mise-en-scene are just as important when it comes to conveying the concept of the song.

You can already see it's pretty bleak and unclear in these snapshots, and that I've gotten a bit carried away with the zoom function! - whoops.